On Monday, I discussed the how aspect of my journey to becoming a writer, and today, I want to explore the why. As with the how, the why will expand and explain what writing means to me and the various aspects of writing and its impact upon my life.
As a child, I never once thought authors were wealthy. Every time I looked up a favorite author, I learned that they made less than my parents and that they enjoyed a different quality of life than I did, with the few rare exceptions--Anne McCaffrey, for one, and Margaret Weis for another, and much, much later, J.K. Rowling. Once Rowling hit the scene, I did more research and learned she was fluke--a one in a billion author who made it so big that she could buy her own continent if she wanted.
I shrugged off the money aspect of writing. Mostly because, at the time, I was young and didn't have any bills to pay, and focused on honing my skills. As I aged, though, money became increasingly important. I picked up various jobs, working everything from a sample distributor at King Soopers to a Lane Inspector at Air Care Colorado. I've worked customer service jobs and given my time to small publishers as an editor--in many cases, for free--while trying to figure out how to make writing work for me as a career.
Most people have pushed me to try other careers, to go back to school numerous times in fields that simply don't interest me. I'm on the cusp of completing my Associate's Degree in Paralegal Studies, which is my backup plan, because, hey, I'm a people pleaser and I want to make my family happy first and foremost, and legal work, while tedious, is something I'd be good at and probably enjoy once out of school.
I'm also determined. Driven to a... well, the cliche is to a fault, but I feel like it's worse than that. I refuse to back down. I know this is the story I want to tell. I think about these books obsessively. Dream about them--seriously, dream about them--and practically breathe every word. I can't stop adding to The Amuli Chronicles and the various series and arcs within it. There's a grand tale here, a world so fascinating and huge that I want to explore every corner of it while being able to live my life here on Earth. And the stories, the drive to tell them, just won't stop. I've tried giving it up, truly, and I just... can't.
So, why do I write? Better yet, why did I become a writer, one of the professions that is most difficult to succeed in? Probably because I've never been one to back down from a challenge. In school, I always did the extra work. I worked hard and fought to get where I am today. I thrive off of difficulty (and here, let me note that difficulty is different from impossibility; I tried engineering, but my brain does not function in the same manner as an engineer's; engineering wasn't difficult for me, it was downright impossible... I spent more hours a week studying than my peers, and still could not get it... I know now that it's because my mind doesn't function in the way that is required for engineering, and I have a ton of respect for engineers, because like romance writers, it's something I cannot do, but admire to my core). And what could be more difficult than making a living off of art?
Art, a good that so many people dismiss as not having monetary worth... and I chose to make it my career. Not for money, not for the chance that I might make it big, but because I love what I do. The crazy deadlines, the insane way I push myself to always do more, more, more, to write more, to improve myself more, to create more stories and connect more plots and characters to one another. This is why I write.
My dad once said after reading The Soulbound Curse, "There are so many threads. How do you know readers will catch them all?" The short answer is, I don't. I can't assume a reader will catch everything, but that's the fun in these epic tales. A reader can enjoy one book, and then the others, and then as they continue through the series, there will be a moment somewhere along the line where their eyes will grow big, they'll stop reading and shout, "Wait a minute! Wait, wait, wait! That was back in book one!" And then they'll go and flip frantically though The Soulbound Curse to find the passage they're thinking of, and the second they find it--it's like Christmas, but a thousand times better, because you know. You and the author have a connection; the author gets the way you think.
And how do I know this feeling? Because I've had it only a handful of times, and only from my very favorite authors. It's a sensation that only the best of the best can give me, and something that I want to give to my readers. While working on The Soulless King, I've found myself having those moments with my own book. It's a little silly to say, but it's true. I have moments where I grin like an idiot and shout--often startling my cats--"THIS IS PERFECT!" I know the readers will enjoy it because I enjoyed it.
In a way, this is why I write. The complexity of a series, if done well, is one of the most delicious fictional meals, one that stimulates the mind and pushes me to think more about the books and the characters within, and to analyze my own life and choices. I strive to bring this same delicacy to my works. I plant so many threads in my novels because I plan to pull on each and every one of them.
You'll just have to wait and see how I do so. ;)
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